The Zanpaktou Census
by EllaBella1102
Summary: Some find it suitable to run, some have no idea what it is... Mayuri's 500 year annual Zanpaktou Census is upon us once again! Funny, interesting action... contains MANY Shinigami, just MAINLY Ichigo and Rukia. Full Summary Inside. R&R.
1. How We Got Here

_**Zanpaktou Census

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**Chapter 1**

**-Ellabella1102**

**(A/N My First try at anything a bit funny… XD. I had the worst writer's block ALL DAY, and it's finally gone.)**

**Full Summary:**

**Mayuri needs to take the census- on Zanpaktou! He must document each and every ones existence and limitations, and to do so, he must separate them from their wielders for a while. To do so, however, he must put each Shinigami into a separate dimension to keep their souls stable while he analyzes their swords. There seem to be a few… unruly side effects….**

**This is going to be NEVER ENDING fic, as it were. I'll be writing it as it comes to mind, adding new Shinigami and taking them out at respective times. If you want a specific Shinigami in here, or maybe an OC, just tell me in a review! Please note, this isn't going to be one of those fiches that goes on in short bursts with no plot line- it's going to be a real story, with a plot tilted in favor of the reviewers. **

**This Fic is perfect if you want something to cheer you up while having the appropriate amount (Maybe a dose more) Of humor, while keeping the action in and a couple of fights between some major characters. If the Zanpaktou arc didn't exist, than this fic would be HARD to WRITE.**

**And, if you didn't get it based on that, this fic is way NOT CANNON. **

**You're probably tired of my rant- Enjoy~

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Ichigo was on his couch, watching TV. It was only 9 o'clock or so, but the phone ringing was still an out of place phenomenon. He was about to let it ring, figuring it could wait until the next day, but picked it up on a whim. "Yo. Kurosaki residence, Ichigo speaking." He said into the receiver, stifling a yawn. As soon as Nemu's voice echoed through the line, Ichigo was instantly on guard. Nemu. Mayuri's assistant. That crazy guy's 'Daughter'. He almost hung up, but then he realized he message-

_"Nemu Mayuri, this is a recording." _

At least it wasn't only for him- it was an all-call of some sort.

"_You, being a Zanpaktou wielder, are required to take part in the 2000-2400 Zanpaktou Census. Mayuri Kurotsuchi will be conducting all formalities upon a later date- this is a mandatory call to the 12th division's grounds as of July 14, forthcoming. Please attend in full uniform for the safety protocol. If you do not attend, we will find you."_

Ok, that wasn't creepy at all. Safety protocol? If they just had to stand in a line and bring up their Zanpaktou, why would they need safety protocol? If it was mandatory, he had to go- his father and Rukia needed to know as well. The message ended abruptly after that,

"_Arigato. See you there!"_

Ichigo let the phone got for one more second, and then hung up. Interesting, indeed. A Zanpaktou Census, taken every 100 years. Isshin and Urahara would know about that- Ichigo turned around, knees on the couch, and then shouted through the house, "DAD! RUKIA! Get down here!"

After a minute of scuffling, the two figures appeared, one from the kitchen with a pudding cup, and the other from upstairs. Isshin took another bite of the pudding before asking, "What's up, son of mine?"

"… I just got a call from Soul Society." Ichigo began, "We need to be at the 12th division's barracks on the 14th. Said they're taking a Zanpaktou Cen-"

"OH!" Isshin put his pudding down quickly, "NO! I WILL NOT BE SUBJECTED TO THAT AGAIN!" Isshin demanded, running upstair after taking the phone from Ichigo, who was slightly anxious about the upcoming event now. He could head his father upstairs, "Urahara? They're taking Census!" he exclaimed. Ichigo heard the sound of a suitcase being dragged down from the closet. "I can't go to Russia again!" Isshin told him, "Yeah, China's good…"

"…" Ichigo still had his hand in the air as if he was holding the phone, a blank expression on his face. "Um…."

Isshin tromped down the stairs, messily packed suitcase trailing behind him. "Tell them I can't come!" He called as he opened the door, "YOUR DEAR FATHER IS TAKING A SUDDEN TRIP TO CHINA! TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE HOMESTEAD, MY CAPABLE SON!" Isshin ran out the door in a rather theatrical way, dropping some articles of clothing from the partially zipped suitcase.

"They said they'd find you…" Ichigo told him as he closed the door for his father, who was apparently fleeing to a different country for the occasion. "Um, Rukia, what exactly is this Census?"

Rukia shrugged, also slightly confused by Isshin's antics. "They take it every 400 years or so…. I'm only 300." she informed him. "What do we need to do? The 14th is tomorrow…"

"We've got to get to Soul Society." He repeated, "We needed to be there for a safety briefing or something." Ichigo finished, dialing the number for a kid-sitter to take care of Karin and Yuzu.

"Got it." Rukia assured, sitting down on the couch. What was the bid deal? Just show them your Zanpaktou, maybe the release? Nothing big.

_**Meanwhile, in Soul Society…**_

Everyone was going absolutely crazy. The Census was upon them once again, and that meant only one thing- run and hide. Each year it was different, something more crazy than the last. Even Matsumoto was looking for a place to seek cover in the chaos. Toshiro had caught her, however, and they were going to do this respectfully. After all, neither of them had ever been through a Census before, they'd only head the seemingly ludicrous legends. Ikkaku was ready for it, as was Zaraki. They were enjoying their job of catching as many Shinigami as they could to round up everyone in the 12th Division's courtyard- almost everyone was under the watchful eye of Mayuri now. Some were trying to form human ladders to reach the crest of the barricade that was keeping everyone cooped up, and others had given up all hope, sitting in small circles and saying what they thought might actually be final goodbyes. This was how everyone ended up by the end of the day, in small circles, around the small bonfires that they were using for warmth and light. Some of the newest Shinigami cried, feeling that this was their last night of sane life.

Mayuri simply laughed- it was like this every single year.

Ichigo and Rukia arrived after setting up Urahara's portal to Soul Society. Renji was waiting for them, and aided their efforts in getting the gate functional. "Do you know what the issue is?" Renji asked as they went through only to be greeted by an empty street. "I heard that Mayuri makes the Census so they can kill off certain Shingami and keep the population down…." He speculated.

Ichigo shook his head, "Why'd they need that after the Winter War?" He argued. Renji glared at him,

"Well, I also heard that some people go blind afterwards!"

"Yeah, right." Ichigo replied, rolling his eyes. Renji's glare intensified, and he looked like he was about to shout something that would really spark a fire, but Rukia intervened.

"Quiet. We've got to get to the 12th Division." She told them both, using Shunpo to one up their distance from the destination. Renji and Ichigo got into a silent competition over who could use Shunpo faster, both reaching the wall much faster than Rukia. Ichigo overlooked the crowd, who were all either sleeping or sitting- a few people mouthed,

'Run!'

Ichigo and Renji should've taken this as a warning to the looming figure of Zaraki Kenpachi behind them, but it was too late. Zaraki shoved them both over the peak, and they both hit the ground with a loud and most defiantly painful thud. Rukia passed over his head and landed daintily, stepping on Renji's hand in the process. Both guys were pretty much out of it, and she had to wake them up her way- jumping on their backs mercilessly.

"O-O-Ow!" Ichigo complained as the air was forced out of his lungs every time she bounced.

"R-R-Ru-Ruki-Rukia!" Renji managed as she stepped off. Both men gasped for air for a moment before sitting up. There was a sea of black before them, heads bobbing up and down, some faces forlorn, some determined not to break, and of course, the one white face of Kurotsuchi looming above the rest. He was smiling in his creepy way, as if he was analyzing his newest subjects.

"Ichigo, there you are." Mayuri's eyes lit up a bit. "My first test subject!" He smiled even wider. Ichigo backed up from him,

"No freakin way!" Ichigo stated firmly. Mayuri's smile lessened,

"Kidding. I plan to finish this in groups…. mostly…" He cast one more creepy golden iris upon the orange haired teen before continuing on his stroll. After a few more stragglers arrived, being pushed over the wall and creating a waterfall like effect, Kurotsuchi resumed a place on a pedestal. Many were trying to use shunpo to escape, but it seemed like a one way in kind of thing. Everyone stood as he ascended to his perch, looking at him with curiosity and malice.

"Welcome to the 2000 Census!" Mayuri greeted them. Dead silence was the response, and he didn't seem to mind much. "I will be taking account of all your Zanpaktou, including releases and limitations. You will be required to dispose of your sword in the proper receptacle, as shown by Nemu." He pointed over to a screen on which Nemu's face was portrayed along with a bin. "Katana form only, please, with the exception of Kurosaki." He looked down directly at Ichigo. "Yes, I do see you."

Everyone took a breath of air.

"You will be separated from your physical Zanpaktou completely, but you will be merged with your spiritual Zanpaktou absolutely." He told them all, which resulted in another wave of confusion. "To prevent your souls from destabilizing, I have ripped a hole into another dimension that should keep everyone whole until I've counted up all the swords." He looked about for a moment, "Any questions?" Almost every single hand went up, "None? I thought so. Please begin to dispose of your Zanpaktou in a bin- when you put them in the bin, please be aware that everyone else who stored their Zanpaktou in that bin will be with you."

Instantly, everyone looked around to see where their best friend or captain had stored his or her katana, most of them staying true to division. There was a 14th bin, however, and no one bothering with it. Toshiro did stop by and put his in there, but Nemu was guarding it against any fan-girls that just couldn't help themselves because he was so 'cute.' Matsumoto snuck hers in there, however, contrary to Hitsugaya's wishes. Ichigo shrugged and ventured over there with Renji and Rukia. Ichigo was holding his Shikai, which a few Shinigami stopped to marvel at, but then had no idea what do do with it.

"I will take it." Nemu explained, taking the large piece of metal from him and holding it with just three fingers. "Rukia, Renji, please place your katana in the bin."

They did as they were told, and went over to wait by Toshiro and Matsumoto. No one really payed attention to who else was dropping off their katana there, but Ichigo did catch a glimpse of Yoruichi, quickly followed by Soifon. Ichigo had never even seen Yoruichi's Zanpaktou at all before. It was just the average katana with a yellow hilt.

Nemu continued to ward off certain Shinigami, while letting others pass. Ichigo eventually interjected in the conversation that Rukia and Renji, "I think this entire thing is fixed." Ichigo told them both, whispering to avoid being overheard. Rukia looked over at Nemu and nodded,

"Only this bin, to- the one with Toshiro, Yoruichi, you…" Rukia observed, shifting her eyes through the crowd. Renji nodded his agreement as well. The bins began to overflow with swords, and then Ichigo saw it. Kenpachi. Headed for their bin. He bolted, trying to intercept him, but Zaraki just shoved him out of the way and dropped his dented and cracked katana into the vat.

"Be seein' ya, Kurosaki…" He laughed in a crazed way before going to mingle a bit more, mostly with Yachiru, who dumped her small katana into the pile as well.

Ichigo was a bit depressed- now he not only had to spend the next day or so in another dimension, but he had to spend it running from Kenpachi. Great. "Ichigooo….." Rukia poked him, with no response. "Wow."

After everyone had gotten settled and sorted into a bin, there were 13 overflowing tubs and a 14th just filled to the brim. Mayuri appeared again, smiling, "Everyone has deposited their Zanpaktou. You will be completely split with them as soon as you enter the other dimension. If you would like to refer to it, I suggest you call it by it's proper name-

Shizou Hitodama. _(Holding onto Disembodied Souls.) _Thanks for coming, and please note that each bin will be directed to a different dimension, although the wall between each is thin. I will also allow some Hollows, upon request to cure boredom…" He finished as a 14 holes were ripped open, right next to the respective bin. Nemu stood waiting at the 14th, and as Ichigo passed, he heard her utter a warning.

"There are some side effects."

Well now, wasn't that nice to know _now, _of all times. As soon as Rukia passed through, she could feel her blade in her hand again, but it also felt like she was being split apart from herself at the same time. It hurt like hades, but there was a kind calm afterwards, like being saved from the flames. Zaraki felt next to nothing as he entered, and continued walking down the long corridor as everything began to fade to a new landscape. Yoruichi showed similar capabilities while Soifon felt the burning, tearing sensation as her arm grew heavy. Renji could feel the separation, but it was smooth and felt like getting acupuncture. Ichigo felt his sword leave him, but at the same time, he held a slender blade- his Bankai? All he felt, though, was an unnerving calm that inspired a slight insane touch in the back of his mind. It was unsettling, and the more he focused on it, the more the voice of craziness seemed to be a bit less annoying.

Everyone exited the other side- there was at least 50 people there- maybe even topping 75. It was a large group, but Ichigo could hardly recognize anyone. It was too many people anyway- for some reason, he felt very, very crowded.

Rukia opened her eyes to see everyone else, barely in time to see Ichigo use Shunpo to leave the group. She didn't bother to follow him, however, and as she looked around, the wind blew her hair infront of her eyes. It was a startling snow white. She looked down at her blade, now as clear as crystal with a sharp edge. The hilt twirled back to meet her palm, a sparking silver. 1 clear ribbon trailed off the hilt in a brilliant display, ending in one ice like charm that radiated coolness, the mist evaporating into the air. "I-It's…. my Bankai…!" Rukia realized, holding it up infront of her. Renji appeared, his Bankai present as well.

"R-Rukia… you're hair… and eyes…" he observed, not taking into account his own appearance. Rukia laughed out loud-

"R-Renji! Your.. hair!" She laughed insatiably, "It's so long and wild!"

Renji glanced down to see that his normally spiked hair was now a tangled mat. "What the!" He asked, growling a bit.

"Your teeth to!" she exclaimed, looking at the curved canines.

Renji, however, couldn't find anything to pick on about her- she had wonderfully bright blue eyes, and her hair was a brilliant white. He also noticed her sword, which had never appeared in that way before. It was chained to her wrist in a nice fashion, as well. "Is that… what is that?" He inquired, moving oeuvre to her and letting his huge Zanpaktou roam freely.

"My Bankai…" Rukia replied, sure of it. "I know it."

"But you've never been able to reach Bankai before!" Renji observed. Rukia shrugged, her eyes more kind than usual.

"Maybe it's just this place." Rukia theorized, sheathing the wonderful blade. She proceeded to sit down, smiling a bit. "Where's Ichigo?"

Meanwhile,

Toshiro was as he usually was, if not a bit more unemotional. His Bankai also show through as the magnificent Ice Dragon it was, but it soon disconnected from his blade and went to go mingle with the other oversized Zanpaktou, such as Zabimaru. Matsumoto, on the other hand, looked like she'd just finished a bottle of sake, and… she had cat ears. Hitsugaya tried his best to ignore her, but it was kind of hard when she was yelling random things as loud as she could. Her canines were also sharper than usual, and she was standing uncomfortably close to him.

Zaraki felt the same. He couldn't help but laugh at Yachiru, who was now wearing a pink uniform and bubbles were floating about her.

Yoruichi felt no different, maybe a bit more unnoticeable, though- she looked down to find that her uniform, instead of carrying the usual white trim, how was black all the way. She was also wearing gloves that closed her sleeves using bandages, and upon closer inspection, she too had cat ears.

Soifon, on the other hand, now had bright yellow tips to her hair. Her huge Bankai weighted down her arms, but she managed to marvel at soifon's excessively stealthily new look.

Ikkaku was carrying about his oversized blade, and he hadn't changed much either- except there was a large, red dragon tattooed to the back of his head. Interesting.

Rukia turned gracefully to look for Ichigo, and couldn't see him amongst the now colorful Shinigami that surrounded her. "Ichigo?" she called. Some other people were also looking for friends they had lost along the way, so calling out began to become a common occurrence. "Ichigo!"

After sifting her way though most of the crowd and taking in all the compliments she got on her new look, she reached a clear space. The soil was gray, a dark gray, but the sky was a dark, hazy blue. A tree rested here and there, along with some grass, but it was mostly barren. She saw Ichigo a good 1/2 mile away, barely. What was he doing? "Ichigo? Come back over here!"

Ichigo heard her- she was so loud, it was hard to hear himself think. Of course, she was Rukia, though. He shunpo'ed back in a flash, still a good 30 feet away from the crowd. Rukia saw him better- his Bankai robes, usually red trimmed with a split down the middle, were completely black, and it looked like there was no seam. The sleeves were also a tad longer, and the bottom drifted about much more than usual. He was also wearing a pair of slim sunglasses, over which you could just see his eyes. She'd never pictured his Zanpaktou so dark looking, but his Bankai fit nicely with the robes.

"Look at this!" Rukia exclaimed, a bit more quietly as she held out the clear blade. "It's my Bankai!"

"It's nice." Ichigo replied. "Suits you. The hair and eyes are obviously Sode no Shirayuki's." he continued, seeming to fit the logic together perfectly. "It's pretty obvious that we've all been merged with our inner selves to some degree, and it appears if we were capable of achieving Bankai, than it has been unlocked."

"…Ichigo?" Rukia asked, not understanding the computing side of him. Their Zanpaktou were supposed to be a reflection of themselves, not complete opposites. Renji was baffled as well,

"What are you, a computer now? Look at it!" He demanded, wanting to brag Rukia's accomplishment even if she wouldn't.

"What are you, a monkey?" Ichigo asked, his expression not changing much aside from a smirk.

Renji growled a bit, "Take it back, foureyes!" Renji retorted, "A monkey is better than a computer!"

"Fine." Ichigo replied, beginning to walk away again. Renji was taken aback, and began to shout a flurry of insults after him, finally calling him,

"You're a STRAWBERRY!" He finalized. Ichigo stopped walking and looked back over his shoulder.

"Are you really resorting to that?"

"You know it, strawberry!" Renji retorted in a mocking tone.

Rukia suddenly had the feeling that, even as is, Ichigo was more not himself than it appeared. "Renji, stop it- don't mess with him." Rukia tried, her calm peace-loving side taking over for a moment.

"Oi, since when do you care? Don't think Ichigo could hold his own?" Renji laughed, slightly deeper than usual. A few Shinigami had begun to watch the commotion now,

"Look at Kurosaki….!"

"He's absolutely ticked!"

"Why does you're lieutenant look like a monkey?" Asked one to Byakuya, who was simply wearing his Zanpaktou's mask on his shoulder. Byakuya closed his eyes and turned around.

"Fight!" a calm cry started up.

"Fight, Fight!" It grew in strength.

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" The crowd was chanting now.

"These people have a really short attention span." Ichigo noted, not moving his blade at all except to lean it on his shoulder.

Renji was fuming now, "Bring it on, Kurosaki!"

"I'd rather not." Ichigo replied, beginning to walk away again. "You people are to loud." Ichigo didn't know why, but everything seemed so loud all of a sudden. His own company would be better than these sirens.

Renji began hollering again, as did most of the crowd. They wanted to see the 'hero' of the winter war do what he could do- after all, his sword was smaller than half of theirs. Rukia, however, thought over what Ichigo seemed to have noticed. If everyone was merging with their Zanpaktou to some degree, would it be progressive? And, if that was true, what else would be happening to them?

And, there was that last question-

Why hadn't Mayuri told them?

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**I hope I gave you a few laughs here and there while keeping it interesting. Tell me what you think in a review, give me Shinigami to add in! I'll do OC's as well, as long as you give me a good one! **

**Also, yes, Ichigo is gunna merge with his Hollow a bit… hehehehe…**

**I love how all the random shinigami are like, 'KILL EM!'. It makes me laugh.**

**I had a real passion for this chapter, and I'll be continuing it when I'm not working on something else, of I have writers block… which I do right now. **

**Please excuse my dear aunt Sally.**

**Also, Ichigo's so different because Zangetsu is like his polar opposite. Rukia had a caring side, like Sode no Shirayuki, so it's not as noticeable. Her Bankai in focus:**

**A crystal blade, ice to the touch, with a silver hilt that looks as if it has been twisted into a spiral that wraps around her hand. IT's also chained to her wrist with a small, dainty chain you might see on silver jewelry. The ribbon on the end is the same, except the charm at the end is much colder than ice and can freeze stuff. **

**I'm debating a pairing at all… **

**I'm going to put the characters as 'Ichigo' and 'Rukia' because I figure I'll keep coming back to them in some way. **

**If you want a pairing, just ask. Put requests in reviews, and ANYONE CAN REVIEW!**

**I**

**ALLOW**

**NON-ACCOUNT**

**USERS**

**TO**

**REVIEW**

**;)**

**Make sure to leave a comment!**


	2. Integrity, Hollow Presence

Zanpaktou Census

Chapter 2

-Ellabella1102

(A/N I made a new Icon- it's quite possibly the first pic ever of Ichigo wearing Zangetsu's robes, and It's my icon. If you like this fic, feel free to use it!)

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"You seriously want to?" Ichigo asked, slowly taking his blade off his shoulder. He didn't seem interested in the least, but Renji saw it- the flicker of determination- of ignition. "I can absolutely assure you that you _will _lose." Ichigo told him, smiling a bit. "Monkey man."

Renji's face was red now from hollering and just pure embarrassment. "Zabimaru is a more worthy Zanpaktou than that!" Renji defined, "Zangetsu- who has a sword named_ that_?" He practically spat out the words. Ichigo glared at him, his black blade resting parallel to the ground. The sky above them was a hazy, dark blue, and Ichigo knew it was about to rain- he hated rain- especially fighting in rain.

"After it rains." Ichigo replied, lowering his blade fully. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not get caught up to my knees- or whatever you have- in mud in the middle of the fight." He reasoned. Rukia stood there and watched the exchange. Renji didn't know it, but Ichigo was getting a kick out of this since he was able to maintain a completely care-less attitude, Renji was fuming up all the more.

"It's completely clear out! No way is it going to rain!" Renji told him, quite sure. Ichigo shook his head, but Renji continued, "Come on, you afraid, Kurosaki?" He taunted, trying anything to get him into a fight.

"Not really." Ichigo replied, walking past him and picking Rukia up by the waist. "You don't mind this?" He asked Rukia offhandedly as they walked away from a completely crazed Renji. "I'm sorry if you find it inappropriate. It's just his face right now is absolutely hilarious."

"…" Rukia was blushing, but then regained herself, "N-No. Its better than the time you saved me and tossed me down from the execution platform…" She smiled at the memory.

"That was fun." Ichigo replied, smiling in recollection as well. "You screamed so loud!" He laughed for a moment, "And your face!"

"Shut up!" Rukia demanded, crossing her arms while being carried.

"Eh, that face isn't quite as good." Ichigo told her, letting her walk again. Renji was still shouting after him, but what did it matter? He'd demolish that monkey later.

Rukia walked next to him, avoiding his robes. This was more like Ichigo.

Ukitake ran past them, holding what appeared to be carrying and fleeing with Shunsui's hat- the one he loved so much. _(Shunsui: The Hippie captain, for those who don't know.) _The man who'd been robbed was following him angrily, seeming to really want his hat back. "UKITAKE! What is wrong with you?" He asked, reaching for it. Ukitake moved it out of his reach,

"Slow! Come on, you're a captain!" Ukitake taunted, running farther away. Rukia snatched it as he passed and gave it back to Shunsui. "Rukia! You ruined it!" He complained, crossing his arms like a child.

"You are most certainly staying under watch." Rukia informed the wayward captain, leading him back to the group. It was then she noticed Ichigo had stayed a good 10 feet away from the outskirts of the crowd, and she went back to go fetch him as well. "Come on- you and I are just about the last sane people here… I think it's time we set some ground rules…" She muttered. Ichigo nodded reluctantly,

"Zangetsu never really liked a lot of people or crowded areas-…." IChigo informed her, implying that it made him uneasy now as well, "Maybe it's because he scares people…" Ichigo mused for a brief moment before being dragged into the thick of it by Rukia.

"We need some leaders that are still themselves…" Rukia idealized, knowing herself to be one of them. "You're still you, so I can count you in?"

"Sure." Ichigo shrugged, feeling a bit uptight. That was a lot of people. Lots of loud, moving people.

"Nee-san is still him-"

"GIVE IT BACK!" Byakuya shouted, chasing Ukitake and passing them by. His hair fell in a loose mess, and the fixtures that normally held it in places lay in the hands of no one but the white haired captain, "UKITAKE! I'M SERIOUS!" she seemed intensely ticked, chasing after him quickly. "GIVE IT!"

"Maybe not." Rukia analyzed again. Thats right- his Zanpaktou was impatient and had a short fuse. "Ok then… what about Yoruichi?"

Upon the mention of her name, Yoruichi appeared, "What?"

"You feeling ok?" Rukia inquired, not wanting to let a crazy into their ranks. Yoruichi replied she felt fine, and they informed her of their plan, "We're trying to get anyone powerful and sane to help us establish order until we figure this thing out."

"That eliminates about 9/10ths of this entire dimension." Yoruichi told them, motioning to the waves of Shinigami around her. Everyone was going crazy. Everyone was trying to show off their Bankai, but no one could really use anything. One man came up to Ichigo, as he was dared by his friends, and poked his shoulder. Ichigo flinched, not liking being around people- why were they poking him?

"HEY!" Ichigo yelled at him. He cringed and ran back to his friends, who were laughing. "No… personal…contact…." Ichigo hissed after the guy.

"Are you sure he's….?"Yoruichi asked Rukia quietly, pointing discreetly to Ichigo.

"He's fine." Rukia assured, tapping his shoulder to get attention. Ichigo almost yelled at her until he realized it was Rukia. She was a VIP, and could thus poke him. "Ok, anyone else you can think of?"

"Soifon?" Ichigo recommended, pointing to the captain of his shoulder. She was sitting on a rock and laughing at numerous occurrences with a tad of malice in her eye. Scary indeed.

"NO!" Yoruichi replied quickly, "She's been bugging me enough! Where's Urahara? And your dad?"

"China." Ichigo told her, shrugging. "I told them,and they were off."

"I'd want to get out of here too, if I knew what it was!" Yoruichi told them both, looking around. A fire had broken out a bit away, and Toshiro put it out quickly with a shout of, 'If you don't know how to use it, leave it alone!'

"Toshiro." Ichigo and Rukia both agreed on at the same time. After they called him over, they decided to get some rules ironed out. After a good 30 minute debate, complete with Ichigo and Yoruichi both suggesting personal space restrictions, they had a good list.

1. No fighting unless it's an agreed challenge.

2. If Ukitake takes your things, do not give chase. He just wants you to.

3. If you have a Bankai, do NOT use it! You have not been properly trained, and will most likely burn Shizou down.

4. If you have any questions or want to ask something, please report to one of the following- Rukia Kuchiki, Ichigo Kurosaki, Yoruichi Shihoin, or Toshiro Hitsugaya. Your own captain may be… incapacitated for a while.

5. Please, do not poke, taunt, or test the leaders mentioned in the previous rule. It's annoying. Stop. We are not going to fight you.

Everyone agreed that this was a good set of starter rules, and eventually, they had everyone sitting down so they could be spread and abided by. Rukia began,

"We have proposed a set of rules." Rukia started, much to the discontent of the crowd.

"Rules?"

"Why? We aren't in Soul Society anymore!"

"SHUT UP!" Ichigo commanded in a voice slightly deeper and more powerful than his usual. "You want to run around acting like wild things? Go ahead. Burn the place to a crisp, and disappoint your captains!"

Everyone did shut up after that. Rukia trolled off the first rule, and everyone seemed to agree. It was a good safety failsafe. "Also, if captain Ukitake attempts to steal or break your things, do not give chase. His Zanpaktou has had an odd effect on him."

"IT HAS NOT!" Yelled someone in the crowd. No surprise who it was.

"I know you're all gearing to use your Bankai, but please refrain from doing so." Toshiro stepped up. "It has taken years for us to master the power, and we don't expect you to try. Rukia has had a similar experience to the rest of you, and she had agreed to not use her Bankai-"

"Hey, wait!" yelled out one obnoxious girl in the crowd, "What about that guy? With the red hair? I hear-"

"…It's orange." Ichigo corrected her, saying it through clenched teeth.

"Whatever- lo-"

"Orange."

"….orange hair… okay, I heard he mastered it in two days!" She continued, standing up, "He could teach us!" Some others began to agree with her until Yoruichi stepped in,

"I was there. He's an absolute imbecile when it comes to such things- he may be powerful now, but he was in desperate need of his Bankai. He almost got killed in the process, and I doubt we have the same materials for you to master yours in the same time. Who says we'll even have two days here?" Yoruichi explained to them all, casting her superior eyes around. Almost every captain was here, many vice-captains , and a ton of random Shinigami. Lessons didn't seem like a bad idea… maybe she could suggest it later.

"Imbecile?" Ichigo cast her a questioning glance. She smirked,

"Yep."

Some of the Shinigami who hadn't heard of Ichigo's feat were instantly curious and astounded, and even more so when they got the gossip that this was, in fact, the same Ichigo who'd won the war over Aizen. The next wave of rumor, however, was that it was only because he had some kind of hollow help.

"Rule number 4!" Ichigo continued, silencing the chatter, "If you have any questions, look for me or anyone else up here right now. We understand your captains may be… a bit out of it." As if to illustrate his example, Unohana skipped past them, smiling widely. "…" Ichigo looked behind himself, "Unohana… you to?"

"Rule 5…" Rukia was speaking again, "I really question why this is needed, but… do not poke or harass anyone else when they are under the influence of their Zanpaktou. They don't know what they're doing."

"Wait, why are you guys in charge?" One man asked, standing up. "I think I'm just as capable as you!"

"Because we're all well known, and all have at least some experience." Yoruichi replied simply. "We understand our swords completely, and are still ourselves."

"Peh." The man spat, "So what? I think it's time for a change anyway." He crossed his arms. No one backed him up after a minute, and he sat down.

"Also, if you see anything interesting or suspicious…" Ichigo began, feeling it was a fit law although they hadn't agreed on it, "Report it to us."

"Dismissed!" Rukia shouted as the congregation got up and began to wander again. After a good while, everyone had been settled into groups, normally on division preference or Zanpaktou personality similarities. Ukitake now had a pile of stolen items piling up, and Toshiro was assigned to return them all to their proper owners. The sky began to get darker and the darkness settled in, along with fear. Nothing had come out during the day, but what of the night? When shadows crawled the earth so did it's followers, slowly seeping out of the cracks and crevices made just to house such foul things.

Meanwhile, in the 12th Division…

Mayuri stared at the 14 screens intently, observing the phenomena in each. His subordinates had begun accounting for all the Zanpaktou, but he found it much more entertaining to watch the goings in in Shizou. In the 1st area, everything was orderly, as he expected it to be- many 1st division Shinigami had chosen it. In the 2nd-6th, minor chaos had erupted, people beginning to take sides and fight it out, experimenting with their Bankai- in the 7-9th, moderate Chaos had been unearthed, people on defiant sides, challenging each other with a leader. No captains were present in any of these groups. The 10th dimension he'd fostered was an absolute blur- there was fighting everywhere, and as far as he could tell, a lot of fire. 11th Dimension didn't have much going on- it was a waiting room. 12th and 13th showed some signs of paranoia and fear as the darkness overcame them, but then he got to observe the monitor he'd been wanting to study since this started. the 14th. He hoped that everyone was absolutely crazy by now- he'd put all the captains and their vice captains in there, as well as many seated members and Ichigo Kurosaki, his favorite research topic. He expected mass chaos, but to his surprise and distress, everything was calm.

Ichigo, Rukia, Toshiro, and Yoruichi seemed to have taken the initiative, keeping things in order. They also seemed to be patrolling the outsides of what they had dubbed a sort of 'camp.' That wasn't going to fly with him. This was such a boring task in and of itself- categorizing Zanpaktou- that he demanded entertainment. Sure, the 10th division was putting on quite a show, but nothing out of the usual. He'd seen the 'taking sides' thing happen before as well. Entertaining? Yes. Original? Not so much. Where was the absolute panic and sheer terror? Boring. That's what it was.

He could always have a bit of fun… wait- where was Isshin? Urahara…?

Ichigo, Rukia, Toshiro, and Yoruichi were all keeping tabs on everyone else, and in turn, letting them get a good nights sleep. Rukia couldn't help herself from staring at Ichigo- his new attire along with his attitude made it seem like this entire dark landscape was just his pure element. She noticed that Yoruichi seemed fascinated by the way he seemed to blend in as well, and even Toshiro was impressed. He was pretty much undetectable. After a long hour or so, a loud roar that was dampers by the distance between its source and those hearing it echoed through the slightly humid air. Ichigo heard it first, however, having been concentrated on the noise in the area. He shunpo'ed over to Rukia,

"I'll go check it out." Ichigo volunteered. "Sounds like a Hollow."

"You sure? It's pretty dark out there…" Rukia replied, "At least take someone with you."

"Who? If there are any more Hollow, you and those two are the only ones who'll be able to fend them off on such short notice." Ichigo pointed out. "Besides… didn't Mayuri say he'd be letting in some Hollow incase we got bored?"

"Oh, right." Rukia replied, understanding. "Be back before morning, or I'm coming out to look for you." She swore as he shunpo'ed off.

The interesting thing, however, was that Mayuri hadn't done this. He looked about for any sign of a rip or tear, and boy, did he find one. Apparently, ripping open a hole to another dimension so close to Huceo Mundo with most of the highest ranking and most reiatsu filled Shinigami in Soul Society wasn't the best idea after all. Hollows were actually clawing through the dimensional wall in an attempt to reach the reiatsu beacon.

And, the humor in it was the simple fact that Ichigo Kurosaki was about to go see it for himself- that roar from earlier belonged to nothing less than a Menos Grande. Sure, he'd beaten one before, but it was certainly not of this stature- this was one leftover from the Winter War- grown by Aizen as chow for his Espada. "Heh… let's see how you handle this, Ichigo."

Another roar pierced through the night, reaching Ichigo's ears much faster and much louder than the one previous. This thing was either really big or really, really angry. He just hoped it wasn't a combination of both.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the lamb in China with Isshin and Urahara…

Isshin and Urahara had just managed to flag down a cab- it was sure crowded here, not that they weren't used to it. As soon as they got into the car, the driver asked them,

"Where are you headed?"

Isshin knew the voice. Darn it.

Urahara sighed. "…Nemu."

"It is required by law that you take part in the Zanpaktou Census." She stated, beginning to rev up the engine.

"Do you know how to drive?" Isshin asked, slightly alarmed.

"Not in the slightest. If you want me to keep my foot off this pedal, you will come with me." She instructed, barely looking at them. Urahara sighed,

"I told you they'd find us. Russia would've been better."

"I can't go back there, remember?" Isshin told him, getting out of the cab and finding that the 12th Division barracks greeted them. "I was going to make a run for it, to…"

"Wow. Mayuri's gotten good at this gate stuff." Urahara noted, not surprised that they were here. He knew the chances they'd escape again were next to none. He did not want to go through this again, especially after watching the footage of the Census previous. He was an absolute nut-job when he was merged with his Zanpaktou. Isshin wasn't horribly bad, but he had a feeling that if merged Ichigo and merged Isshin met, something would go wrong.

* * *

Back in Shizou,

Ichigo reached what he though to be the source of the commotion, a simply huge Menos. It stared at him for a brief moment before taking a lumbering step. These things were nothing more than pests in his book nowadays- he used Shunpo to get even with the enormous mask, lining up Zangetsu perfectly, and then announcing, "**Getsuga Tenshou!" **for the beast to hear before it toppled downwards into a crumpling heap. For a brief moment afterwards, while his reiatsu recovered, he heard that annoying, mocking, psychotic voice.

'_Partner? You listenin' to me now? Long time no chatter." _It cackled.

Nope. That wasn't who he thought it was. Ignore it and move on. The voice was fading fast now, but it warned him, '_You know Zangetsu ain't here no more? That means…' _Ichigo felt someone else grip his Zanpaktou, as if it was no longer his hand, _'This is __**mine.**__' _

Ichigo dropped his Zanpaktou by reflex, and everything became silent once again. Quiet, silent except for the rotting of the Hollow he'd just lain to rest. He glanced down at the black blade for a brief moment, trying to find Zangetsu's reiatsu. There was absolutely nothing there but his own… plus a hint of something he didn't want to identify. He saw the sun peaking over the flat horizon- right- he had to get back to the others before they got worried. Had it really taken that long? Wow- he needed to brush up a bit.

He walked most of the way back to what they dubbed 'Meeting Grounds', thinking over what he had just heard. Did that make him 'not-him' as Rukia and Yoruichi had implied about some others? Of course, this had always been a part of him for a good while now, so he was still himself, right? Eh. No brain power to scrounge up the details- he needed sleep. As soon as he saw the group, he noticed Rukia heading out to find him, and they met about half-way. "How did it go?" She inquired, breathing a breath of relief- he was ok, just like she figured he'd be.

"Pretty good. Menos Grande got through…" Ichigo described the fight that hadn't been much of a bother. He hadn't, however, looked back on the carnage… which had intensified greatly between the time he 'finished' and the time he actually left. He'd left it, as far as he was concerned, in two even pieces cut in half by his Getsuga Tensho- what remained, however, was pretty much a pile of Hollow- not that he knew.

Everyone was just getting up, and Yoruichi, Ichigo, Rukia, and Toshiro all found it to be a good time to get some shut eye- they'd decided that late afternoon through early morning would be their up-time, since it was the darkest and most unsure of the day. Of course, as soon as Ichigo had actually gotten to sleep, along with Rukia and Yoruichi, two new arrivals graced their presence…

* * *

Preview for the next chapter:

"Mmmmm~"

"HmmmmHMHM….~"

"…Kisuke…"

"Hm?~"

"Please, by all that is living…."

"….mmmhhm….~"

"And quite possibly dead…."

"Huh?~"

"STOP HUMMING!"

* * *

_**Am I the only one who thinks Kisuke would be humming if he was merged with Benihime? After all, the shikai release is 'sing.' XD**_

_**This chapter was a bit more serious… but ya know, I promised an even mix! **_

_**IF YOU TOOK**_

_**10 MINUTES TO **_

_**READ,**_

_**TAKE ONE MEASLY**_

_**MINUTE**_

_**TO **_

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_**IT!**_

_**Thanks~…**_

_**FOR THE 20 WHOPPING REVIEWS ON CHAPTER 1! WOWWWW! 3**_


	3. Urahara and Isshin Arrive! Grimmjow?

Zanpaktou Census

Chapter 3

-Ellabella1102

(Spoiler Alert: Chapter 409!)

* * *

"Kisuke…." Isshin inquired to his friend, who was standing right next to him. Nothing outwardly had changed, but the biggest reason they didn't like coming here-

"Yes?~" Kisuke replied, in a singsong way.

"Too late." Isshin grumbled, walking out. He was clad in Engetsu's own cloak, similar to that of Zangetsu's, but a bit more frayed. His sword was a copy of what everyone took to be Ichigo's Bankai, but Isshin knew that Zangetsu and Engetsu were a pair, and thus shared many outward characteristics. Now he just had to find his s-

"UNOHANA!" Urahara explained as she passed by and picked him up in her dancing about.

"…. Have fun, Kisuke…" Isshin bid him farewell for now. When they saw this footage later in life, someone was going to have a bad case of embarrassment. The worst part, however, was that Kisuke had absolutely no idea what he was doing- it was usual happy-go-lucky Kisuke hyped up on drugs and Sake. He felt his own Zanpaktou merge with him on the way in, but it just mellowed out his attitude a bit. Now, back to finding Ichigo. He'd mastered Zangetsu during the winter war, so it was now a much longer, generally bigger blade. He saw his son laying on his back not to far away, sleeping soundly. Tensa Zangetsu lay at his side, unmoving. Heh. Time for a wake up call. Isshin used Shunpo to get high in the air, and then began.

"GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD…."

Ichigo heard this. Wait? What? Why was his father here!

"….!"

Uh oh. Dodge Duck Dip Duck Dodge- Ichigo got up as fast as he could, attempting to ready himself.

"ICCCHHHHIIIIIIIGGOOOOOOOO~!"

Ichigo felt his fathers foot line up perfectly with his scalp, driving his face into the ground. Many Shinigami had stopped to watch this, snickering, but Ichigo was less than amused. A _lot _less than amused. In fact, being stomped on was so outside of Zangetsu's code of conduct, it pretty much enraged him. Ichigo swung Zangetsu in an arc that was certainly meant to harm his father before managing to stand up and attempting it again.

"Oi!" Isshin complained, dodging the first but barely getting out of the way of the second. Right. Zangetsu was the crabby brother. "Nice to see you to!" Isshin called as Ichigo swung out again at him.

Ichigo only had one thing on his mind- this guy had just _stepped _on him, and seriously needed to learn some manners. Who goes around stepping on people? When they're sleeping? The thought that it was Isshin hardly passed through his conscious.

Isshin eventually pulled his blade out to counter Ichigo's, which seemed intent on cutting him at least once. "Ichigo, you there?" Isshin asked, knowing that sometimes the merge cause interesting personality quirks. "Isshin here-" He deflected another jab for him, "Your father? Yeah, that guy."

Whoa. Ichigo stopped for a second, getting over the trampling. This was Isshin- his dad. Oops. Shouldn't have forgotten that. "Uh… don't step on me, ok? I don't like… being… touched." Ichigo informed him. Isshin pretty much cracked up, but Ichigo continued, "Shut up, Eng!"

"…" Isshin ceased his laughing for a moment, "Heh! If you get to call me Eng, I can call you Zang!" He retorted, slipping into the personality of Engetsu a bit more. Zangetsu and Engetsu were like brothers, and thus had some rivalries, one of which was having those stupid nick names.

"…." Ichigo scowled at his dad, "Look, I was up all last nig-" Kisuke passed him, stopping right in front of him. Ichigo took a step back, and he took a step forward. "Urahara…."

"ICHIGO! It's so nice to see you again!"~" He pretty much sang, "We got caught! In CHINA!~"

"…." Ichigo backed up further, and Urahara took another step forward. "Space…"

"Who needs space?" Urahara inquired, taking another step forward so they were only like an inch apart.

"PERSONAL SPACE!" Ichigo demanded, using Shunpo to get away. Isshin was cracking up because of this-

"You'll never get away from 'em! I betcha if you give him a hug he'll go away!" Isshin called to him, knowing it to be completely false.

"SHUT-" Ichigo used Shunpo to avoid Urahara again, "UP-" Another flash step, "EN-ISSHIN!"

It would make sense, as Ichigo had been here for two days, to call him Eng. The longer you were here, the more you became like your Zanpaktou- they'd probably be at each other's throats within the next few days, or pranking each other with some seriously dangerous jokes, but it was temporary. After a good 30 minutes of pure hilarity of Kisuke trying to do who knows what to Ichigo, Isshin caught up to his old friend to restrain him. "Kisuke, why don't you take a breather?" Isshin suggested, keeping him in a headlock. Urahara smiled and freed himself before going to talk to Matsumoto. "Those two will hit it off, dontcha think?" He asked to Ichigo, joking.

"…." Ichigo had literally fallen over backwards and was snoring. The sun was still high, however, and Isshin didn't approve of his son's sleeping patterns until he realized he'd probably taken the night shift. Last time he'd been here, they'd been stuck here for weeks, and mass chaos had broken out on the 4th day. It seemed, however, that these guys had it under control to some degree. Most Shinigami were walking about or just talking to one another. A battle was taking place a bit upwind of where he was, but it was nothing more than a friendly bout- maybe they could get through this Census without to much issue.

* * *

A While Away-

Grimmjow had slipped through the dimensional rip that joined this dimension and Huceo Mundo, having felt a familiar and hated reiatsu. Kurosaki Ichigo. What he was doing there at that moment, Grimmjow didn't know- he just knew that this was going to be the last landscape that Ichigo ever saw. He was determined to gain his honor back- no way would a lowly human- or whatever freak halfbreed Kurosaki was- beat him. Not again.

As he walked towards the strong reiatsu, a plan began to form in his mind- the reign of the Espada was far from over.

* * *

"Rukia…" Ichigo muttered, sitting up from his brief but sweet nap. He'd been dreaming that she was trying to wake him up-

"BAKA!" Rukia told him, shaking his shoulders, "What are you, a rock?"

Oops. Not a dream. "Today I am." Ichigo replied smartly as he yawned profusely. Her white hair shocked him for a moment, along with her eyes- very, very pretty. "What's up?" Rukia grumbled something, and then waited for him to notice. Nothing came to mind- everything was still the same. "What?"

"It's night-time! Our job starts now." Rukia explained to him, standing up and dragging him up as well.

"It's not night yet." Ichigo debated- he could see everything perfectly… unless he looked up, in which case it was dark. "…?" That was confusing.

"Are you blind? It's pitch black out here." Rukia informed him, squinting to get a better look at the landscape. "Mayuri should've at least given us a place to stay! It gets cold out here!" She observed. Ichigo muttered an 'mmhhmmm…' as he tested out this newfound vision. It was the glasses!

"Rukia, try this!" Ichigo ordered, taking off Zangetsu's glasses and letting her use them for a moment. She was reluctant to give them back- they let the wearer see perfectly in the dark- no green static or anything. "I'm sure there's a better place- I mean, we haven't really explored at all yet." Ichigo observed, obviously about to volunteer to do so. "I can take Renji." He compromised, as Rukia didn't like him going out by himself.

"Ok. Come back by morning again- try to find a place thats sheltered and grouped." Rukia instructed, looking about for Renji and waking him up in a similar fashion. After he grumpily awoke, he was informed of his mission: "Go with Ichigo and look for a better place to stay while we're here."

"Ug." Renji complained, standing. He cast a glance at Ichigo, "And it never did rain, by the way, proving that you are afraid of Zabimaru's awesome power!" Renji brought the topic up.

"You need to shut up." Ichigo retorted, beginning to walk. "You'll be lucky if you can keep track of me." Ichigo told him, pretty much blending into the blackness. Renji snorted,

"Zabimaru had great nighteyes, unlike you."

"Night vision." Ichigo replied, smirking to himself. "At least you don't have to worry a-" Ichigo turned to look- Renji was right next to him. He took a step to the right, and Renji followed him. "…."

"About what?" Renji asked, about to poke him.

Ichigo walked faster now, attempting not to get infected with rabies. "Getting lost." Ichigo finished as he batted Renji away. "What part about no poking the administrators did you not understand?" Ichigo inquired loudly, his cloak seeming to fragment a bit more as his reiatsu rose. No touchy.

"Eh." Renji grunted.

"I mean you, Kisuke, those stupid other Shinigami- why do they insist on poking me? Its not that fun!" Ichigo reasoned, getting into the topic, "It's not like I'm wearing a sign!"

"…" Renji was trying not to laugh. It was absolutely fun- Ichigo reacted differently every time. "It would be faster if we split up, go two separate directions." Renji pointed out, serious once more. "More ground and less time."

"Good plan." Ichigo agreed, taking a sharp right. Renji took left- this place couldn't be that huge.

Grimmjow took a right also, remaining in the shadows. He could pick up every movement and sound made in this darkness- all the easier to track what he was after. As soon as Kurosaki was far enough away, he'd strike down, and they would finish their battle, once and for all.

* * *

Renji, after a good 30 minutes of using long-distance Shunpo, he did arrive at a series of caves- bit enough for a good 20 or 30 people to sleep in one- and there were tons of them! Time to go report to Rukia- he had to remember this somehow- Zabimaru! He summoned his Zanpaktou spirit out into the flesh, and instructed the large bone dragon to stay put- no way he'd miss that!

He left his Zanpaktou there and began his venture back- Rukia would be impressed, and Ichigo would be shown up. Not a bad nights work, if he did say so himself.

* * *

Ichigo used some long distance Shunpo, but didn't get as far as Renji. Walking was a better suited means of travel in the terrain he was attempting to traverse, which had become rocky and flat. The sky was a dark black, not a thing disturbing the night- not even a moon. Why Mayuri insisted on making everyone's life miserable, he had no clue, but they'd get through it- and then show Mayuri what they thought of his methods. It was absolutely dead quiet- not even the wind blew.

_'Yo.'_

_"_Go away."

_'Aww, come on, partner! We're best buddies.' _

"Eh. No."

_'When are ya gunna let me have my sword back? I'm gunna take it if you ain't goin' to share.'_

"Shut up. It's mine."

_'Hardly.'_

"Ok, I'm gunn-"

"Talking to yourself now, Kurosaki?" Asked a familiar voice that Ichigo still wished he'd never heard.

* * *

"Yo, Rukia!" Renji shunpo'ed over, smiling, "I got a place."

"Great!" Rukia replied, honestly happy. "I'll get everyone up and we can move- where's Ichigo?" She checked behind him- "You didn't knock him out and leave him out there, did you?" She asked, seriously. Renji wasn't above that.

"N-No! We split up to cover more ground!" Renji insisted. Rukia bought it after a minute, and nodded.

"EVERYONE UP!" She shouted, clapping her hands. Renji joined in- time to round up and move out. As soon as everyone had been roused from their slumber, she instructed Renji to take everyone to the new grounds. She was going to wait for Ichigo to come back and then follow up. No wind or weather meant the trail couldn't be blown away, so it'd be easy to catch up with. Renji agreed a bit reluctantly, and then set off.

"…Are we there yet?"

Renji didn't look back to see who'd asked. "Of course not- we just started off."

5 minutes later.

"….Are we there yet?"

"No!" Still not caring who asked.

1 Minute later,

"How much farther?"

"Ok, how bout I tell you when we get there?" Renji asked, quite annoyed. Stupid rookies.

5 more minutes later,

"Are we there-"

"Ok, I am going to report you to your captain if you don't shut up!" Renji swore, finally checking to see who it was. "…C-Captain Byakuya…"

"…And who, exactly, would you report me to, Vice Captain?" Byakuya asked, folding his arms. Renji shut up for the rest of the way- that was not in his job description. Isshin was keeping tabs on Kisuke, who was skipping next to Yoruichi and asking a ton of questions.

"…What is wrong with you?" Yoruichi inquired as he got on the topic of cosmetics- "I thought you were straight! You shouldn't be talking about such womanly things!"

"…" Isshin sighed, explaining it to Yoruichi after he pushed Kisuke away, "His sword is Beni_hime_ you know. 'Crimson _princess_'. Why do you think we try to avoid this every time?" Yoruichi began to laugh harder than she had in a good long while-

"Kisuke's been merged with a GIRL Zanpaktou!" She asked, tears brimming in her eyes, "This is precious!"

"Not only that, but it's a young girl." Isshin added, how own garb floating about a bit. Yoruichi was overcome by a fresh bout of laughter and Kisuke came back,

"Yoruichi~!" He hummed a bit. Ukitake was walking not to far behind, however- Isshin knew what was coming. In a quick flash, Ukitake had Urahara's favorite hat in his hands, and he was flaunting it about like a kid would. "Ukitake! Gimmie it back!" Urahara demanded, running after him.

"At least that'll give him something to do." Isshin observed. "This is why we tried to get out of it- we get to watch the footage afterward, and Kisuke won't come out of his shop for like a week afterwards." He continued to explain, "Probably before you two really knew each other."

* * *

Rukia sat down, completely alone for the first time in a while. She took out her Bankai- "I wish I could keep you…" Rukia told it wistfully, knowing it would disappear eventually. "Talk to me a bit?" She inquired as she rested it on her lap in a mediative state. She had time, just a bit to waste- why not bond with her Zanpaktou? They were closer together here than they'd even been on earth, and what better a time to connect and maybe, just maybe, achieve Bankai?

* * *

"Gr-Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked, turning around slowly, shock on his face. True to his guess, the blue haired menace stood, looking down upon him from above.

"You're face is great- pure shock." Grimmjow reasoned, cackling. "I'm 'ere because you didn't have the guts to kill me back then, remember?" Grimmjow asked, his smile stretching beyond his mask. "Betcha do!"

"I didn't have the heart to kick something that was already down." Ichigo corrected, readying Zangetsu. "Especially a kitten."

"Panther, disrespectful brat." Grimmjow corrected, undoing the sheath of his own katana. "I'll just kill ya', less…." Grimmjow seemed to smile a bit. "I'll letcha know once it's over."

"You really hold a grudge, you know that?" Ichigo told him, Zangetsu increasing in size and length, much to the interest of Grimmjow. _(Tensa Zangetsu from 409)_

"Gotten better, eh?" Grimmjow laid his hand on Pantera, "Well, news flash, Kurosaki…" He moved his hand over the blade, and his reiatsu began to build higher and higher, "So have I."

Grimmjow morphed into his panther-human form, along with a loud screech that Ichigo knew he would never forget. This espada was tricky- he wouldn't have beaten him if it wasn't for Inoue and the other Espada. No time to be stingy with reiatsu, either. Ichigo watched as the gray dust settled once more, and as Grimmjow leapt at him- when had he gotten so fast? Ichigo barely had time to put his blade up. Grimmjow literally grasped it and bent Ichigo's arm back in such a way the pressure would snap it. "Aarr-" Ichigo winced, dropping the blade that was giving Grimmjow the grip. Ichigo leapt away, paranoid that Grimmjow would use his own blade against him- instead, he kicked it away.

"One on one, Kurosaki. No swords."

Think. Think. Think. How does a Shinigami, trained and only skilled in swordplay, beat a madman with all his assets?

_'Easy, if you think about it my way….' _

Ichigo blocked one of Grimmjow's claws, but was scratched deeply in the process- using his Zanpaktou was his only chance- why had he allowed himself to be disarmed to easily? "You fight with claws, I fight with a sword- unless you just want to slaughter me." Ichigo tried, knowing that Grimmjow wanted to have a good, thrilling battle. Grimmjow simply smirked at this,

"Take it as a challenge- think you can get it back? Get past me, it's yours." Grimmjow assured, "You pass this line…" He scratched it in the dirt, "I won't touch it or you until you have you're precious Zanpaktou back- then we can really get started." Ichigo knew he had to take it- otherwise, there was no way he'd get this over with. All he had to do is pass that line? No problem.

Grimmjow had seen the carnage left by the Menos Grande the night before, and felt Ichigo's reiatsu along with it- it was certainly a Hollow's, and certainly a Hollow that had had a lot of fun messing it up. Grimmjow didn't believe it was Kurosaki until he recalled something Aizen had said- Ichigo was an unstable Vizard, meaning that his Hollow half was most likely still prominent. Of course, he wasn't one for thinking- all he'd done was charge Ichigo's blade with his own, Hollowfied reiatsu- if it was still there, that would provide it enough energy to break through for a good minute or two.

Ichigo's forearms had been demolished by the time he'd made some headway- trying to dodge was next to impossible with Grimmjow's new speed, and without his blade to counter it, there was nothing left to defend against the claws besides his arms. There had to be some way to get him off guard for a second- just a brief second to use some Shunpo- he was a cat- what did cats like? Mice? Yarn? "Oh my God, a mouse Hollow!" Ichigo pointed, acting like he was really surprised.

Grimmjow's eyes flickered for a brief moment to the area where Ichigo had pointed- after all, mouse Hollow were rare in Huceo Mundo because he insisted passing the days by hunting them down- but as soon as he realized there was nothing there but a bit of grass, he turned his eyes to where Ichigo was- or had been a moment ago.

"HA!" Ichigo taunted from behind the line. "I win!" He announced, reaching for Zangetsu.

"You think so." Grimmjow muttered quietly, smiling evilly. Lets see if his muse would work-

* * *

_**Heh.. heh… **_

_**Cliffhanger?**_

_**Yes.**_

_**I know you're mad.**_

_**Don't be.**_

_**I'll give you a question to ponder while you wait.**_

_**What would happen if Hollow Ichigo and Grimmjow joined forces to resurrect the Espada?**_

_**Sorry about the SEVERE shortness. I thought it was good place to cut it off... ^,^;; Next chapter will be LONGER! **_

_**Hm…**_

_**I Wonder. **_

_**IF YOU**_

_**TOOK A**_

_**MEASLY MINUTE**_

_**TO READ**_

_**TAKE A**_

_**MEASLY MINUTE**_

_**TO**_

_**REVIEW IT!**_


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